5 Year Anniversary // Clown Edition
Yo, Yo, Yooooo!!!!!
IF YOU ARE ALIVE
& IF YOU ARE NOT TERRIFIED OF CLOWNS
THAN THIS IS THE CALENDAR FOR YOU!!
A classic 12” by 12” wall calendar has always been my favorite.
-This calendar is a fantastic way to decorate your wall
-this calendar can help you stay organized & excited for upcoming events
* Add your own holidays
-This calendar has plenty of room to write on
*I like to jot down little notes & things about my day on my calendar
**It’s like minimalist journaling
-This calendar has 6 POSTCARDS that you can cut out on the back cover
*Sugar cereal box vibes intended
- this calendar was made possible by many precious people
*And Many Precious Clowns
-This calendar is printed by SmartPress
* a super cool, carbon neutral, employee-owned, socially & environmentally minded company with awesome customer service
Hi, April here!
Wax Pony is a multi-media brand established in 2020.
You see... I want to help fill the world with beautiful, valuable, real things.
You are beautiful, valuable, and real.
Thanks for being here.
WAX PONY ORIGINAL T’s
Today I drove through the old one-stoplight town that I grew up in… On the two lane 65mph roads back toward where I am living now I found myself keeping pace with a cargo train on the tracks to left of me. I felt as if I knew the future while I was keeping pace with this train because I knew the tracks would eventually cross in front of a turn I had to make in order to get home (20 or so miles down the line)... I knew it would delay my arrival a few more minutes than what my navigation app predicted. Perfect. I was already delaying my arrival home by taking this route. I didn’t wanna get home because there was too much heaviness and unknown awaiting my return.
You see, in this past year alone, I’ve lost 2 people whom I love to the reality of death; untimely death at that. When I lost my friend Michael, it literally brought me to my knees. Lucky for me though, my life was already in a state of such demanding chaos that I had the perfect excuse to compartmentalize and cope through the grief… a grief that I had to come face to face with a few months after the fact of my friend’s death. Later in the year, I lost THE friend who walked with me through the grief of Michael’s death, Derek. His death brought me to the terrifying realization that I have so much to lose. Losing Derek to death was a wake up call that I didn’t know I needed… and one that I didn’t want. I woke up to the fact that we truly only have today. I learned the necessity for constant and kind vulnerability. I learned that the Truth IS something that sets us free and IS something that is to be given freely and without fear. I learned that I was deeply afraid to lose the people I loved and the time that I had with them.
Now, I face the same fear in a new manner… Last week my dad went to the doctor for a some-what routine check-up and left the appointment with a doctor’s concerned and urgent order for a quadruple bypass open-heart surgery. It’s a miracle that he hasn’t had permanent heart damage or a heart attack from the blood not being able to make it to the bottom half of his heart the past couple years... I praise the Lord for us being able to find this out before it was too late, but FUCK. He’s a healthy man, we have no bad heart heath history in the family. But he’s been under extreme circumstantial stress for the past 8 years… A stress that has now manifested in his physical heart.
Now, me and my family are waiting for a job contract to go through for my dad for the sake of having good health insurance during this time. Now, me and my family are waiting for a serious surgery that is necessary to preserve the life of my dad, yet it is also threatening to the life of my dad. All the while the stress causing circumstances still remain unrelenting in our reality...
TO LIVE WITH THE LOOMING FEAR OF DEATH SUCKS! I can only say that:
1. I am struggling greatly with the deepness of what it is to be optimistic in the face of fear.
2. I am entirely and fully overwhelmed with a desperate gratefulness to know God… to have someone (Jesus) to hand my fears off to.
Now… I will not lie. It is contrary to my nature to hand off these intense burdens of fear and anger to Jesus. I wanna sit with them. I wanna let them eat me alive. It feels more like a movie when I give up and give into the feelings of helplessness and fear of loss. But the Lord is faithful, and He is true to His word that He provides a peace that passes all understanding.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Righteous is a strange word. It means to be right in the eyes of God, and to be right in the eyes of God is to recognize Him for who is and to try our best to Know Him! (And He is so cool because when we do those two things, He is SO easily and sweetly knowable, especially with time.) It is our purpose as beings created by God to know our Creator. And what an amazingly simple purpose it is. Just to take a step of faith and say, I believe, and/or I wanna believe more, that You are who You say You are.
John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
By communicating in vulnerability to the Lord, He will meet us. And He will provide. And He will take our burdens and give us a peace that passes all understanding. I praise Jesus for being with me when I feel like I am alone, when I feel like I cannot make it through another minute of caring about anything and everything so much. I have always been and still am under the impression that it is SO MUCH BETTER and MORE to BE ALIVE than it ever could be to play out “a movie” and Jesus has given me even more of reason to continue believing in such a fashion.
All my love, April
P/s If you pray: pray for my dad and for my family and for me.
Also, I wanna pray for YOU in whatever it is that you want/or need support in.
We weren’t meant to live our lives carrying our burdens alone. I love you.
Send me an email